A Brazilian inviting you to their house and commitment issues

When you meet someone new here in Brazil, don't be surprised if they invite you to their house within the first conversation. This is very common and kind of confusing for an American. The conversation will be a straight up, hey come to my house. What they actually mean is we should hang out sometime and nice to meet you. Eventually they do want you to come to their house, but they don't know when. If you ask when, they will dance around and say maybe next week or they will let you know.  Its very funny to me! You just invited me over and now you are saying you don't know when.

I find that it is very hard for Brazilians to commit to really anything. Hey can you teach me English? Yes, when are you available? Ah, let me see and I will let you know! It sounds promising but don't get too excited. Most likely they will never commit but every time you see them they will say yeah I want to... I have even tried to trick them with here is when I am available to teach and when they say I am only able to see you another time. I return with, I can teach you then! They all of a sudden come up with an excuse that they just remembered.

Its a cultural thing, at first I thought they were real "shady". As in a shady person, but then I realized that everyone is this way. If I had to guess, in America 8 out of 10 people follow through with what they say they are going to do. Now this isn't based off any kind of data, just my own personal experiences. I generally knew who was shady and knew who I could count on. Maybe it was easier for me to pick up a good vibe because English is my first language and I could pick through the BS. Now here in Brazil that number is way lower and I don't want to actually put a number on it. Maybe I have just met the wrong people.

Brazilians are very warm and social people. So don't get me wrong that this is not a negative blog. It's not! They are for the most part very laid back and don't commit to much. I find they kind of cruise through life and let things just happen. I find myself starting to act this way. It took a few months! At times when I say I am going to do something...it may happen tomorrow or next week but I will get to it soon. I promise! Its reduced my stress significantly and I find that I am enjoying life more.

Thanks for reading! 

Brazil WhatsApp....

WhatsApp is really the most important way to message here and its now shutdown indefinitely. Supposedly it has to do with the surrender of data involving some legal cases and due to legal secrecy they can not tell us. This is the third time they have blocked it since I've been here. Maybe it does...maybe it doesn't have anything to do with some data.

I honestly think it has to do with no one using text messaging. No one here texts because it costs money or is expensive to have a text plan. In my whole time here, I have not had anyone text me...except for my wife earlier today to say WhatsApp is down. That's a lot of money the 5 wireless carriers here are missing out on. So I'm pretty sure they keep pushing to get this very useful and easy messaging App permanently blocked. Well we will see!

Right now this is having an impact on the economy. I actually order beer to be delivered to my house by WhatsApp. Doesn't cost extra and it keeps me returning to the same business. I know a lot of businesses use it to make deals and a lot of times you can see the little logo on advertisements for you to contact them that way. Hell, the pharmacy takes orders this way! They also deliver...if only we had this in America.

Well as the bureaucracy wheels slowly turn here and I'm without messaging for a few days. I'm actually glad it is during the week, so my social life doesn't take a hit this weekend...hopefully!



  

Driving in Goiania, Brazil

Imagine having a handful of marbles and dropping them into a rain gutter. All the marbles are going the same direction but all over the place. Where there should be two marbles rolling in the same direction, there is three and its very tight. Now in this description I made the marble a car or truck. I didn't even add the motorcycle element to the mix. They squeeze between the marbles and will even hit your side view mirrors without a care in the world. To say the least driving here is madness!

The only law you need to worry about is traffic cameras and they are clearly marked. Just look for the signs and obey the law at that time. They can be for speed or for running through an intersection. Other than that, do what you want. Its really a free for all here. Is it a two lane road but there is enough room on the shoulder to drive around a couple people stopped at a red light. Do it! You just passed a bunch of people and saved at least 30 seconds getting to your next destination. Do you need to turn around but don't feel like going all the way around the round about. Make that immediate left turn into on-coming traffic. Man you just saved another 10-15 seconds.

As an American I can say we are probably the best drivers in the world. I have traveled a lot and can't think of a better place. Yes we have people who drive slow in the fast lane and those people who wait until the last minute to go from two lanes into one at construction zones. I am hard pressed to really think of any time in America where I saw people just do what ever they wanted to do on the roads. Nope... Plus I have had many conversations with Brazilians about how drivers respect each other in America. They also speak at how nice our roads are. The 6 month rainy season destroys the roads here and makes huge holes. The ones you swerve to avoid because you may lose you car in them.

Now here I understand one of the biggest things I see is for safety. Late at night people will slow down and run red lights in bad neighborhoods. Don't want to get robbed or killed for sure. I've done this in the past and have no problem with it. Now imagine its day light and no traffic cameras are around. Which there is a bunch here in the city and you can definitely tell which intersections have it. You probably guessed it by now, people run red lights all the time during the day. Not for safety but because they feel entitled to. Even if you are stopped at a light they will drive around you and keep going.

Let's go back to the motorcycle issue. They split lanes like there is no tomorrow. You will be driving along and out of no where a motorcycle will pass you within inches at all speeds. Stopped at a red light...they will all squeeze through the cars to create a wave of motorcycles at the front. Then they will start running the red light at their leisure. Back to the squeezing through the mass of cars and trucks. They will bump into you, knock your mirrors, drive on sidewalks, etc. Anything to get to the front. I used to stop in a way to prevent them from getting by until I had them start damaging my car. Not worth it and getting out to confront one biker is not a great idea. They are like a small gang. One goes down they are stop and provide security. Its a brotherhood without knowing each other. I now stop with one side of the vehicle free for them to move by. Another reason not to confront them, they could be carrying a handgun.

Who out there has heard about the Waze app? Show of hands please...just kidding! Well the police here do roadblocks at night to look for drunk drivers. That's the only time you will see cops doing anything in regards to enforcing traffic laws. Let me say that again, the only time you will see the police doing anything on the roads here. Waze will help you avoid all roadblocks and even give you the quickest way to do it. Yes make sure you observe the route they give you and double check for roadblocks while using it. Not saying I drive drunk here but the roadblocks are a little annoying. I was a passenger one night and we got flagged in going through one of these. Its random and they check all the documentation. Plus they give the driver an alcohol breathalyzer. Not a big deal that night because our driver wasn't drinking. It took about 10-15 minutes to do this and wasn't too bad. I still try to avoid them and beware Waze could be driving you through a bad area...

Do I break the law like a Brazilian...yes. I do speed and at night I will run that red light (safety). But I don't push it any further than that. Maybe in a few years when I'm fully immersed into the culture I will push the boundaries a little out of my comfort zone. I hope not and now thinking about it. I need to create an environment where my children see me doing the right thing. They will grow up to be just like me. The roll model I must be saying in a Yoda voice.

Well now its time for a bad story about my driving. I feel really bad about it but it was a bad situation. Yes there is bad neighborhoods here but every country has that. I try to avoid them as much as possible. On this particular night I had to go through one coming home from a relatives home. It was dark and no street lights. I was in an area where if the car was able to continue on at any cost I was going to keep going. Like a Mad Max movie but without the weird people! So I was on this tight road that leads to the highway and it was extremely dark. Out of nowhere a huge dog ran in front of me. It was a spilt second and bang, it hit the front and went under...I slowed down and immediately I thought to myself I got to keep going. This is not a safe place to stop and check everything and provide assistance to an injured dog. I shook the car back and forth to make sure the steering was ok and left the area.

As I was driving on, all I could think of was the fact these dogs live in the streets and always get out of the way. I mean you will be driving through the city and dogs will be in traffic. Kind a hard to believe this dog would happen to just jump out in front of me. I was the only car on this road and it was a choke point...could it have been some people trying to get me to stop. I don't know and never will. But I think I did the safest thing to keep my family safe. Yes it did some body work damage and I am very happy it didn't do any structural damage. This happened about 2 months ago and still is very vivid in my memory. Sucks!

I hope you got a brief description of driving here. Its something to get used to and I actually feel I could write more. I didn't really talk about photo radar, look for signs and slow down, Speed bumps, that's an interesting one. Most small cities around Goiania have them. It makes everything in the back of the car go flying if you miss the warning sign. Roundabouts, which I absolutely love, slow down and keep going if you have the right away. Those can be challenging though! Perhaps in the future I will go more into detail!

Thanks for reading!                 

Moving into our house

February 2016

So we are here in wonderful Brazil! Back together as a full family! Kids are in school after a long vacation in America. My wife is back to work in a sluggish economy. I'm without a real job after 21 years of having one...without any lapses. My savings is plentiful and with my money being worth 4 times as much here, life is great. I wouldn't say I "made it rain" but we were enjoying ourselves as much as possible.

Now we were trying to move into a house that wasn't fully completed. Still workers in the house every day doing what they do. My wife works long hours, in-laws traveling internationally and me leaning on other family members trying to get the house completed enough to occupy. It was a mad house! I would tell the workers to complete something and an hour later they would be working on something else that could of waited to get completed later down the road. The workers showed up and left whenever they wanted. Not the typical set hours like American construction workers. There was a point in time I finally just said the hell with it and let them do what they wanted to do.

My job was to move our household goods from one room to another without any real direction. Looking back I should of left everything in one large pile and had the rest of the house finished. Then started unpacking once it was ready to put stuff away. As a family we have moved multiple times but always into a finished house. This time was complicated with moving stuff here and there...then realizing I just put a bunch of stuff where scaffolding needs to be built to finish painting or hanging a lamp.

Don't get me wrong I was absolutely beyond happy to move into our forever home! No more moving again, this is it! This is part of adapting to a new culture. I had to lower my expectations and not compare it to an American worker. So it took the Plummer all day to hang the bathroom fixtures...at least its done! The painters had painted but the other people still working in the house damaged the wall, oh well its a lived in house. It will have a few marks here and there. So its a huge adjustment to get used to. Don't compare the two countries at all!

This went on for a few weeks and finally the house was some what completed. We just needed curtains in the windows so we could start sleeping each night in the new house. All the bedrooms face the elevated street in front of our house. So having an audience watching us sleep each night wasn't an option my wife would entertain...me either! Lets get them installed and get moved out of the in-laws house...our welcome was running short after 8 months. They were returning any day now from traveling abroad and I was scrambling to figure out where to buy curtains. I wouldn't say we were getting kicked out but we needed to be gone immediately.   

Blacked out curtains is a must to keep some of the heat out during the day and street lights at night. I measured all the windows and headed downtown. There is no Lowe's or Home Depot here. To buy curtains you usually need to go to a curtain hardware place first and then onto a place that makes the actual curtains itself. It took me a few days to do the hardware part of it and a few more days to install them on the wall. Never drilled into concrete before to hang stuff on the wall. Always dealt with wood and drywall. I was nervous to say the least! But got the bedroom hardware up eventually.

After searching for a place to get curtains for a few days I had to ask for help. Luckily my brother in-law had a family member who made curtains. She came over, measured all the windows, picked out the material and was on her way. A few days later a guy returned and hung them on the hardware I installed. Finally we can start sleeping at the house! Now thinking back...I totally forgot about the window screens. That was also another show stopper on living in the house. Luckily this was also happening simultaneously to the curtain problem.

There is no AC in the house so cracking the windows each night is a must...plus having a fan in each bedroom to keep the air moving. Mosquitos are a problem here and with Zika everyone is bathing in repellent 24/7. I was referred to a guy who made screens and he also spoke English, thank god! Yep, you guessed it! You can't go to a Lowes or Home Depot here and buy screens to install yourself. So this guy came out to the house and measured all the widows I wanted to get done. This was my first experience with negotiating the price. Looking back I could of done better but you live and learn. He gave me a price and I countered to high back. Should of went lower!

Wow, now that is all complete and we are moved in! Time to organize everything! There was a few things still getting finished around the house. The cabinets were still being installed and I continued to move boxes from one room to another. The electrician was finishing up his part. Life was getting better, my stress levels had come down. My focus was on getting the kids lives back to normal with all their toys unpacked and a routine back in their life. I also was doing whatever I could to make my wife's life easier, she was working the grind. Gone early and home late! Didn't want her working each night after her long days.

As you can see, I had some challenges and I think I did the best I could of. The language barrier didn't help and I was very frustrated at times. The family was busy and couldn't help me that much. I now wish I would of hired a translator for the first one or two months. I could of got so much more done and saved a ton of money in the process. Those days I drove around aimlessly looking for stuff I needed would of been more pleasant. I went into places and wanted to buy stuff but couldn't communicate effectively enough to make a deal. Hell I know I got ripped of more than once on a few things. Buying sheets for our beds cost me a pretty penny. I could of gotten them a lot cheaper!

To be continued...          

Time here in Brazil

This is an important subject to have because it has everything to do with your social life here. Business time is a little different and everyone tries to keep a set schedule. Be prepared to wait around for everyone to show up for a meeting or that doctors appointment that will be a little behind. Now as I write this, business time is much like we conduct in America. Not much of a change.

Now Brazilian time as in your social life is very different. So you get invited to a BBQ or dinner party and the host says a time. You can add an hour to that time for sure. If you show up at the exact time the host told you...they will most likely be in the shower or even just waking up from a nap. If in doubt as an American it doesn't hurt to ask or do as I do now, go with the herd or flow. If everyone else is getting ready to go, you start getting ready too.

For example; many moons a go I was visiting Brazil with newly wed wife. I ask what were the plans and believe me there was plans for the whole time we were visiting. Trying to see and do as much as possible on our trips here. That night she told me dinner party at 2000. So that told me two things I need to eat a snack later in the afternoon because us American's normally eat earlier. And I need to prepare for a late evening by taking a nap.

So I started to get ready around 1830 because I was unsure of travel time. I wasn't too concerned about the rest of the family and thought maybe they got showers earlier and were relaxing before leaving. Well I ended up being completely ready to go all by myself. We didn't leave the house that night until 2030 and arrived shortly before 2100. From that point on I tried to not be American. No point in wasting time and aggravating myself with being impatient.

Since then depending on who the host is or what kind of party it is I may ask about the time. Sometimes if it is a BBQ, I want to show up as early as possible to see how they prepare the meat and some of the other tasty food. I have learned a lot. Especially in regards to using rock salt on the meat before grilling. So good and amazing!

To sum it up, don't show on the time given unless told specifically to do so. Which has never happened! My advice is 45 minutes to 1 hour after time given. You will still be one of the first people to arrive in most cases. There will be people who show up even later than that, believe me!

  

4th of July

Celebrating the 4th of July in Brazil!

As you know its not a holiday here but I set out to enjoy and share a little piece of America here.

Friday I prepared a wonderful macaroni salad, baked potato dish and big juicy burgers. The macaroni salad was epic and I found all the ingredients needed except for celery. It is very hard to find celery and I didn't feel like heading into town to search for it. I made about four pounds of macaroni salad to last the whole weekend. The baked potato dish is very simple and only needed parsley and butter. The burgers I went all out with getting a good high quality ground beef and mixing chopped up onions, eggs, salt, pepper and garlic powder in it. I then topped off the burgers with a yellow cheese.

Usually every Friday night we do happy hour with the family which includes: mother & father in-law, my wife's sister & husband and the four of us. It's a wonderful tradition and I have really grown to love it. When we miss a Friday night together it seems weird now. Like we missed something and didn't start our weekend off right. Just like our Sunday lunches at the in-laws. Every Sunday we are there and we have even woken up early while away on vacation to make sure we drive back in time to eat together. Its great to have these traditions and for the grandchildren to spend a lot of quality time with family. Sometimes these meals are attended by friends and other family members too.

So Friday evening we set up our outdoor grilling area for guests. A table so we all sit together, placemats, plates, silverware, glasses, ice, etc. Fired up the charcoal grill, which I am now addicted to. That propane grill from America has been collecting dust every since it got here. I don't actually see myself using it because the taste of everything cooked on charcoal is amazing. Next blue tooth music, of course we started out playing American music but then we ended up listen to Spotify later in the evening. I'm not too picking on music and love a little variety. Usually everything is set up and nicely arranged before guest arrive. You must also specify American or Brazilian time for guests to show up. We choose American this evening. I plan on writing a separate blog on what this entails. It took me awhile to master this concept and I now find myself following the Brazilian time more often.

The guest started to arrive and immediately I can sense the "oh no" what are you making. Brazilians expect appetizers like olives, bread with butter spread, peanuts and other little things to snack on. Then a main course that comes out a little at a time. Definitely not American style where we eat it all at once. They like to take their time and eat a little here and there. Most of the time Brazilians don't even make it to the main dishes because they eat too much of the snacks set out. So on to my meal I was making. I had potato chips, macaroni salad, baked potato dish, chopped up lettuce / tomatoes / onions, hamburger buns and huge meat ball ground beef balls all set out ready to go. The burgers were made to order and I don't flatten them out until I place them on the grill. So they look like huge meat balls.

The first comment I got was "what is that"? I replied we are having cheese burgers tonight. The response after that was "like McDonald's"? No these are homemade burgers, not fast food! The concerned look was of bewilder. How dare you make us fast food burgers. I assured them it was going to be really good. Then in typical Brazilian fashion the search for the snacks. I found one of my family members digging out olives to eat. It was hilarious with all of them being concerned about the meal. I opened up the potato chips for them to snack on while the fresh burgers cooked over the very hot grill.

I timed it just right to have an almost well done juicy patty with melted cheese over it. Put them on a plate and had the family start the assembly line of building their burgers. Everyone loaded up their plates and started in on those huge burgers. They all loved it! I got the comments of "I never thought a burger could taste this good" and "In America I have never ordered a burger from a restaurant". Well they didn't know what they were missing. The burgers were a hit and seconds were asked for! Plus the amazing macaroni salad and baked potato dish added a little extra American to there experience.

Now a funny thing about Brazilians, they usually never touch the food with fingers. Tonight they all man handled these burgers and made me proud. Chances are if you see anyone eating a burger or pizza in America with a fork and knife, they are Brazilian. Case in point recently in January we saw a family of four at the Hard Rock Café in NYC eating like this and I knew they were Brazilian before I heard them speaking Portuguese with each other. French fries are usually eaten with tooth picks too.

Saturday we had two events to go to. That happens a lot here and sometimes that lunch party you went to will turn into an all day / night affair. The first one was a lunch time Brazilian BBQ which we showed up early too...like American time early. They were still setting up and not totally prepared but these are close family so not a big deal. I had set a time for departure which I knew we wouldn't make. But I added some fluff time to start the process of leaving. It usually takes about 30 minutes to leave a Brazilian's house and this includes saying good bye to each person. It can also take longer than this and sometimes you get talked into staying longer. I have also been offered and accepted a place to nap so we can stay for the evening party.

Finally we departed a little late and traveled an hour away to an American expats families farm for an internationals event. Its a website I found shortly after arriving here where expats from all around the world that live in your area meet up once a month to hang out and share experiences. I enjoy it a lot and have made some very good friends that are going through the same experiences I am. On the way there we stopped back by the house to get some of that macaroni salad to share with all of the expats. And headed that way stopping to get more beer, ice and gas on the way.

Of course my bank cards were cut off and I had to use all the cash left in my pocket on the way there. This is a common thing and if in a jam I can call through Skype and get turned back on immediately. I caution any expats on opening up bank accounts here. It cost a lot of money to maintain an account and you may open yourself up to double taxation. So I deal with the pain of my American bank continuously turning cards off because they think its fraud activity with me using them in Brazil.

Well anyways we headed across town, down a nice new highway and out a very rough dirt road to a wonderful oasis. Yes its a farm to a certain extent but its much more than that. I was thoroughly surprised at how awesome it was with a nice large house, pool and grilling area. It has a bunch of chickens and some crops that were growing. Plenty of room for the kids to run around. And the best part the majority of everyone there was speaking English. The kids were running around with other English speaking kids. It was awesome!

We showed up fashionably late and enjoyed another American meal of cheese burgers. Just like I made the night prior. Everyone enjoyed the macaroni salad we brought along and there was many other American style dishes. Unfortunately I filled up on that Brazilian BBQ early in the day and only had enough room for a burger and brownies. We enjoyed a great conversation with many diverse backgrounds from all around the world. I had also planned ahead and brought a tent, blankets and pillows in case we ended up staying. Which we did and it was amazing our friends had an extra room for us to sleep in. Its a little chilly this time of year and we were very grateful to have a room. There was a small fireworks show and the kids ran around outside late into the evening.

The next morning the rooster had us up at the crack of dawn. Well not all of us, just one of our children asking to go outside and play. We kept trying to get him to sleep longer but eventually sent him out to play. Not long after he came running back in saying an avocado fell out of the tree and hit our car. Huge dent in the hood. Arrived after dark and didn't realize I parked under a huge avocado tree. Its repairable and shouldn't cost too much I guess. In the day light the farm was even more amazing with a swing hanging from the tree, volley ball court, and many other cool things. We started to pack up and get ready to go. Remember its Sunday and we have lunch at the in-laws we must get back for. As usual it took us a little while to say good bye to every one and we definitely had to partake in freshly baked cheese bread and sweet strong coffee. We also had to get the children in the car. They were busy playing with some of the English speaking children.

We arrived fashionably late to the in-laws and enjoyed a wonderful lunch. It was fish and many other little things including that macaroni salad I made Friday night. It didn't last long and actually filled me up so I only had a little bit of the tasty fish. The kids are relaxing and we are enjoying a great conversation telling of our night away. How much fun the kids had and what we experienced. Today we chose to go home instead of napping there. Sometimes we do and sometimes we don't. Our house is a quarter of a mile away but its nice to stay and let the kids nap with their grandparents. It will be a great memory when they get older!

The rest of the evening we relaxed at home, had a small dinner and watched Netflix. It seems like we have been eating non-stop all weekend...yes. Also My wife needs to return to work the next day, Monday July 4th. Not a holiday here! We were in bed early and got caught up on much need rest. Remember the rooster woke us up so early.

Monday morning the wife was off to work and we were at home with no plans. I caught up on house cleaning and laundry. Took the kids for a bike / scooter ride to the grandparents house. We returned and played around the house. Watered the grass, the normal week day stuff. I reflected on the meaning of July 4th and talked to the kids about it. They are learning Brazilian history here and I try to tell them American history as much as possible. Being dual citizens they may return to America and live in the future.

We then got invited out to dinner this evening to wonderful Outback Steakhouse Restaurant. Its one of three American restaurants in this area. The other two are Subway and of course McDonalds but we hardly ever go to them. Its very expensive and you could get a better meal for far less at another place. Had a very good time and guess what? The children asked to not go and spent the evening with the grandparents. Getting that grandparents time in for sure!

So as you can see it was an awesome weekend of many events. This is the usual here and Brazilians are very social. Lots of get festivities that are planned or even last minute. Some weekends we have to make the tough choice of which ones to attend. Sometimes we will attempt to get to each one but the process of saying goodbye at one prevents us from going to another.

I hope this gives you a look at how a typical weekend goes here. This is definitely not typical of our American lives we just left not too long ago. My American weekends usually consisted of yard work, grocery shopping and catching up on cleaning the house. Not anymore!